"Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obamacare, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."This one is compliments of RabbiRabbit1. I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion, I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.I converted to Islam, and we're stoning her in the morning.2. The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.She's 25, and her name's Candy.3. Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I'm 50.It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.4. My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's three schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."5. The cost of. She was 5'6'' and every bit of 250, but it was all in her ass, thighs and tits. Around the middle she was just a little above average. Her boobs were monsters, at least 48DDs. She was a black girl in dasiey dukes and a shirt cut low enough to slow off her massive tits.I took the mail into the house and beat off at the front door. Over the next few weeks I saw her off and on, and waved politely, before going inside to beat off. Then one day I just happened to look out my back window, and my world changed forever.There she was, laying in a lawn chair beside her pool. There was a fence that halfway obscured the view from the backyard, but from any window in the house you could easily see her pool and raised deck. She was wearing a two-piece bikini, but the top was pulled down to let her breasts get some sun. She appeared to be rubbing lotion on them, focusing extra attention to her silver dollar sized nipples.Without even considering that I was standing in front of the open window, I.
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